I’ve been listening to jazz lately. I am continually amazed by how truly adept it is at expressing the complexity of human emotion without words. My current favorite song owns the same title of this post. This song seems to have been written for a Nora Ephron film before Nora Ephron films became a thing. (And apparently, Nora Ephron has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I’ve referenced her on Twitter and Facebook in the last two days.)
This song says so much more about the knots of my heart than words ever could. There are days where I just shake my head at my foolishness. There are more days when I understand why Jeremiah warned us against our hearts.
The war between what I see and what my heart wants to believe is wearying. And my brain is so frustrated by my heart, I think the two aren’t on speaking terms right now. Sometimes I feel like the battle to win over my emotions is going to send me over the edge. Emotions feel powerful and real. And they can really skew reality. I think it was Pat Benatar that said love is a battlefield. (I don’t really know what that has to do with anything, except for it seemed like an appropriate moment to mention Pat Benatar.)
In the middle of this war, I have hope. The future is unknown and there are so many things I have to learn. There are many more things yet to discover. Places I want to visit and people I want to meet. I know Jesus has much ahead for me that I can’t anticipate. And I am learning to be ok with that. I’m learning to trust Him deeply and fully, which brings a peace that can’t be disturbed.
So with that in mind, me and my foolish heart are going to learn how to dance.